The Positives Experiment

Hello all

Raise your hand if you dread interviews (ME!) Raise your hand if you hate the questions 1. “Tell me a little about yourself.” Or 2. “What are some positive qualities that you think you possess.” For most people the answers to these questions may sound something like this. “Well I am ___ years old. I am a mom/dad. I love spending time with my family and…” “The positive things about me are that I am always on time, I am a fast learner, I am honest”…. Blah blah blah! Why are these answers so vague!! Why are they so general? There must be more to you than just your age or who you are in your family to describe you. There must be more than just the general interview answers to describe the positive aspects of who you are. Why is it hard for us to describe a beautiful picture of ourselves to others?

The truth may be simple… WE OFTEN FOCUS ON THE NEGATIVE PARTS of who we are. If we were given the same questions about others would we answer quicker and more profoundly? Would it be easier for us to describe our negative qualities if asked? Or what would others say about who we are? These were the questions that plagued my mind late at night a few nights ago. I recently became a full-time stay at home mom, although I haven’t had a 9-5 job in about 2 years. I have been focusing on ways to earn extra income to help the household. I have been repurposing furniture, making fall crafts, crocheting, doing art, even occasionally going to work with my long-time boyfriend in his hauling business. I have been blogging, and selling things on line… you name it… I have probably tried to make it happen. The point is that in the mist of this all I have realized I have true talents that add to who I am. They add to my personal resume.

Quick back-story: Like I mentioned before the questions I presented at the beginning of this post kept me up at night. Has that ever happened to you late at night? Your body is so tired but your mind acts as if it has taken a 24hour energy supplement? I could not sleep and I wondered what my partner thought about me… I am I transmitting to him the same qualities that I think I have? Does he benefit from some of these qualities? So I decided to do a little experiment I would like to call: The Positives Experiment.

THE POSITIVES EXPERIMENT

Yes I know the word “experiment” usually entails theories and data and repeated tests.. but for the sake of this experimental challenge I will use this word. So here’s how it basically went down in the bedroom at 12:00 am! I thought of 10 positive qualities that I thought I possessed. I tried really hard to be honest and not shy away from really giving myself credit. Then I wrote one negative quality about myself that I would either like to work on, or that is very apparent in my everyday life. I also decided to do the same for my Ruben (my boyfriend). I thought of 10 positive things about him and one negative thing. He did the same for me and we compared lists. These are the results!

My List for Myself:

POSITIVES

  1. I am very artistic
  2. I am a good mom
  3. I am educated
  4. I have good sense of style.
  5. I am kind
  6. I am honest
  7. I really love helping others.
  8. I am a good writer
  9. I am a good cook
  10. I am very positive

NEGATIVE:

I get so paranoid when I drive that I really do not like doing it. It definitely holds me back at times.

Ruben’s list for me:

POSITIVES

  1. You are a good mom
  2. You are a good partner
  3. You have a good sense of style
  4. You are smart
  5. You are positive
  6. You like to help others
  7. You learn fast
  8. You are determined
  9. You are ambitious
  10. You are funny

NEGATIVES

You do not like to drive.

Results: My discoveries

I did the same for him, but for the sake of his privacy I will not include it. Bottom line is that I discovered that there are many things that I see in myself that others also see in me. This shows me that I am putting out these vibes or energy, or feelings out there and that they are being received in the way I intend them to. Other’s also think that I am a good helper and that I am positive. What I also found is that the one negative thing about me that I know I should probably work on is also something that others may see in me. This experiment, or challenge was hard at first because I dreaded to hear the list he had for me. What if it does not even match or I cannot think of enough positives for myself. I am however glad I did it.

CHALLENGE FOR YOU 🙂 

I wanted to present this “Positives Experiment” to you guys because I learned a lot about how others may see me. NO, it is not always important what others think about us, but if you want to be a positive part of other’s lives then sometimes the your actions are important. You may want to know if your intentions and actions are being perceived as you think. Have you ever met someone that says “I am such a patient person…” but they are also the same people to be freaking out at the grocery line? Your actions in front of others turn into their perceptions of who you are. So I challenge you to do the same, and discover your positives. I wanted to focus on the positives and challenge you all to do the same because it becomes so easy for us to list all the things we are bad at that we often forget how much others really do not see that! We really are hard on ourselves

DETAILS AND INSTRUCTIONS OF THE POSITIVES EXPERIMENT.

Materials needed:Pen/Pencil, Paper, or something to record answers on

Instructions:

  • Ask someone who you are close to or whom you think would know enough about you to participate.
  • Do the next steps alone… You must not compare answers or be next to each other when you make your list. You want it to be as honest and unbiased as possible.
  • Make a list of 10 positive things and 1 negative thing about yourself. Your partner in this challenge should do the same about themselves.
  • Make a list of 10 positive things and 1 negative thing about your partner. They should do the same thing about you.
  • Exchange lists. You should give them the list you wrote about them and they will give you the list they wrote about you.
  • Compare the two lists. Did they list similar things about you that are also on your list? Are they different? If so maybe now you have an even bigger list of your positive qualities!
  • Is the negative thing they listed about you match what you wrote? If it did maybe its something that truly affects other people. Maybe your negative thing is that you are always late! This can be a reinforcement that you may need to work on that.

*Note: This challenge is meant to empower you. Although I added a “negative” component you do not have to include it in yours. I however think that if you chose the right person for this challenge you will find that even the negative they listed about you is nothing but an opportunity to address something that will make you even better. Do it at your own risk (could be fun or simply spark conversation!)

As always thank you for reading and if you decide to complete the challenge I would LOVE to see it! Let me know what you found out. Was it easy? Fun? Challenging? Empowering? Feel free to blog about it and tag me! I really hope that my content influences you in a positive way and that you learn more about yourselves, because our positive qualities are more important than our doubts.

-Elenathinkslife

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10 Responses to The Positives Experiment

  1. Crystal E says:

    Great post Elena! Sometimes it’s scary to hear what others have to say about us but we are normally much harder on ourselves than we should be. I can see how this experiment could be very enlightening.

  2. Veronika says:

    This is so true. Luckily I stopped describing myself in a negative way back in the high school when I had an presentation about myself. Omg all the bad things I said about me that weren’t even true. However, after becoming a blogger I realized I need to di, talk, write, think and moreover repeting only what’s the best of me. There’s this saying in my country that a good staf talk good by the way they do/are without praising themselves. But I realized we got the meaning of this saying completely wrong in our country. Good thinks say they are good and they say it out by their own voice.
    Veronika
    http://brunettefromwallstreet.com

    • Thank you so much for reading and commenting. I think that is great of you to have learned at an early age to pick the positive things about yourself. That is definitely something I have to practice.

  3. I could stand to do this right now … I somehow tie my worth to my health, and when my health is a struggle, I question my worth.
    Thanks for this!

  4. This is such an important post and such a great reminder! I think we often overlook the positives in ourselves.

  5. This looks like a fun and useful experiment. By the way I nominated you for the Liebster. Love your blog. Just go to my blog and look at the Liebster questions there. Can’t wait to see your answers.

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