THE EMOTIONAL MOTHER-TO-BE
10 things I wish I knew before I became a mother.
These are the things people failed to mention. What they failed to warn me about!!! What I could not GOOGLE! This is an emotional look at the psyche of a pregnant woman. My journey-Lessons learned.
—This blog is a little different than the rest. It is not based on articles. It is not based on scientific studies. It is based on the beauty and pain that came with becoming a mother and mentally preparing for it. This is what I learned when I said goodbye to my old EVERYTHING; my old body, my old friends, my old priorities, my old goals, and my old state of mind. Keep in mind, this was MY journey, and yours may look and feel nothing like mine. I suffered from a depressive state, a self-diagnosed postpartum depression, (mainly because I was afraid to seek help or talk about it) so my journey may not come close to yours. Nevertheless, here we go!
The Ten Top Things I Now Realize I Went Through
- You will often feel alone in this journey, even if you are surrounded by people that love you. My experience was my own… and although people kept telling me it was worth it and it would be worth it, I felt alone in my doubts. This made me afraid to complain about ANYTHING.
- You will NEVER truly be ready for the changes… all the changes… the many changes. You will begin to notice that even though you feel like your life is going in the right course, you CANNOT recognize the person in the mirror. You cannot recognize the person you are becoming. You did not agree to give up your whole self!
- You become a mother the moment you become pregnant, and your child becomes YOUR responsibility far before it becomes any body else’s. You are responsible for the nourishment, the appointments, the vitamins, the emotional regulation of your body, not to mention the responsibility of “controlling” your hormones to please others.
- On that note: You may have mixed feelings about your relationships. Your relationships with your friends, your family, and even your partner. You may feel that they want things for you that you do not want for yourself. Because of this, you will begin to notice broken relationships and distant friends.
- You may be wondering if you will ever get your old self back. This includes your old body, old hobbies, and even old happiness.
- You will look at your partner and wonder if they will still find you attractive, if they will still need you like they did before. Heck you will wonder if ANYONE will ever find you attractive or if you will always just be the MOM with the mom body and mom scars to prove it.
- You may feel fear about becoming a boring mother; with nothing interesting to talk about besides your kids. Will my life be defined by my ability to be a mother? Or a wife? Or the girlfriend with the baby daddy?
- People will make you feel that having a kid means losing yourself. That your kids should always come first and you should come at the very bottom. Any other feeling aside from this idea would be selfish of you!!!!! They will make you feel that once your child is born… the old you must be stashed away in the closet with your old clothes that won’t ever fit the same!
- For those not married: People will undermine your ability and your potential to be a moral and decent mother because you are having a child out of wedlock. They may judge you and your relationship, and that may make you feel unworthy of praise and happiness throughout your journey
- Being a mother is a long, unpredictable journey, and you may take months or even years before you find your place and your new identity. Your life should not revolve around the idea of being the best mother, because before them you EXISTED and after them you have endured it all!! . You will find your happiness again at your own pace.
- BONUS LESSON: Breast feeding may be one of the most painful feelings in the world! Well, at least for while. (They only tell you how good it is for the child… but ouch!!!!) This one is not an emotional one!! But I sure cried a lot! 🙂
Hope you guys enjoyed this personal and probably totally biased post since it was what I went through. I of course had many happy moments throughout my pregnancy, but some days were clouded and dark. I truly hope that some of the points were relatable to you and that you understand this: You are NEVER the first person to feel a certain way… but you may be the FIRST brave one to speak up!
That is what I think. It is what Elena Thinks. Please leave your comments or suggestions below and start a conversation!! Share your story.