It was your day off and you woke up earlier than you would like too. Last night you avoided very happily setting your alarm; but your child decided that today, on your day off, she needed to be up extra early. She paid a visit to your bedroom to make sure you were aware of her presence. She demanded you sit next to her on the couch while she used the iPad and grunted every time the commercials on her video were too long for her to watch. No she did not want to play with you; no she did not really NEED you; but you are her mom and if she is up, you are up. You sat there with morning goo in your eyes and a blurry mind. You remember that you do not get days off and feel silly that you expected otherwise.
Your day was planned before your body and mind were fully awake. You walked to the mirror; looked at your disheveled hair, and your makeshift pajamas comprised of an old t-shirt and stretched out leggings from when you were pregnant. What have you done to yourself?!! What happened to that diet you started and re-started, and quit, and started again and then completely forgot about? When was the last time you groomed your brows, or combed your hair? When was the last time you went out and felt like you could rule the world with just your strut? Instead, you keep standing there looking at your face, only to find the aftermath of last night’s games. You were stretched out on the couch after cleaning the house, only to feel the heavy hit of your child’s face on your face. Ouch heads connected; she laughed, you yelled trying not to cry of course. Now you look at the mirror to only to see what seems to be a swollen face and a very sleepy gaze, and then you begin to think about how dirty your mirror is and how you should do a better job cleaning it. This morning all you wanted to do was sleep a little longer; dream a little better; feel a little prettier.
Finally, its time for her nap and you feel slight relief. You sit on the couch and it should feel like the most comfortable rest of the day; but you cannot shut your mind off. Maybe you should be doing more laundry; or start lunch, or clean the couch instead of sitting on it. This is hard work and it just never ceases. You turn on your favorite marathon and grab your favorite device and begin browsing. Your Facebook memories show you pictures of you four years ago. Four years ago when it was just you. You were not a mom, or a partner, or an unpaid housemaid. You also realize that four years ago you were still not all that happy. You realize you are happier now than you were before; despite the unruly hair, and mismatched clothes, and unkempt brows. You begin to wonder if you are being too hard on yourself. Maybe a happier life may also be a chaotic life at times. A life that starts early in the morning and does not end until late at night; long after everyone goes to sleep. A life where you never clock out and being a mom is your nametag. I mean after all, some days you wonder how the house runs without you, and how your partner or family can do things without your help!
You look at your child with goo in their eyes as they awake their all too short nap. She walks up to you and gives you a hug and kisses your bare and naked face. She does not see what you see in the mirror. You manage to produce a genuine and much needed smile and realize it is not so bad. How lucky are you to be her mom; and once again, you are ready to do it all over tomorrow.
Dear every mom (parent), give your self a break. We are doing great!!
-Thank you all for reading this post. It is what I was feeling today and thought I would share it with some parents out there who maybe forget to remember how great of a job we are doing! Hope that you have enjoyed. Please leave your comments and suggestions and let me know if you guys like these types of posts as well.